Lack of Love Does Not Equal Hard Worker

“You need a bae, you work way too much,” a coworker you respect and can consider a homie says to you. 

What, pray tell, is the correct response? I’ve mastered the giggle, giggle, switch topic, shelf for later tactic. 

I hate the assumption that my love of the work I do is solely due to the lack of a human demanding my love and affection. It’s too simple. Far to binary. I’m a bit more layered than that. Women are a bit more layered than that. 


The assumption hardly even feels like that aunty during the holidays claiming you’re getting too old to be single and without child. At least then the reasoning is tied to age and old school gender norms. Nah, this assumption is purely based upon one’s work ethic. 

I manage multiple career pursuits in my head. From teacher to coach to writer and even event curator, my mind is rarely mute and hardly ever on pause. I do work 7 days a week but I also make time for those deserving AND certainly indulge in the happy hour spoils this life in NYC can afford me. 

So again, I ask, what is the appropriate response to being called a work-a-holic as a means to explain simply being hard working? You must believe that I am incapable of approaching my job with the same level of care if I was to be in a relationship. Would priorities in how I spend time during my downtime shift, perhaps, but a planner and a to-do list do not disappear pending my relationship status. 

I am only ever 10 toes down or nothing at all. That applies to work, relationships, pursuing a new hobby - all things in my life require care and attention to detail. So no, my lack of a love life is not the fuel powering how I work. To put it simply, my desire to be impactful as a teacher and writer is what keeps me hunched over my laptop with a pen and notebook never too far away. 

Women are not that simple. 
Everything cannot he explained by the presence or lack of presence of a partner. 
A partner shouldn’t determine how hard or careless you work. 


Alley Olivier2 Comments