Dating w/Grey in Mind

 
 

Dating is about assumptions. Let’s be real, the whole communicate one’s wants and needs is a deleted text message replaced with an “LOL, wyd later?” 

Everything is grey. Memes flood our feeds of leaving certain cinderblocks behind in the year’s past but change is slow and rarely occurs just because a ceremonial ball drops. 

We drop the ball on ourselves all the time in interest of having a someone to talk about. 

We crave and desire a special someone while spending more time pretending like our needs are met when they’re not. Obvious solution: speak up. But, with a threat of loneliness or feeling intense FOMO next to seemingly happily cuffed friends, we stick around with an understanding: it ain’t perfect but it’ll do for now. 

For now can last a few weeks, months, or years, depending on how long a charade of not listening to yourself can last. 

Or, you can see the signs and welcome them. Hear me out: you can know what you want and knowingly settle. Not for appearances but for the lack of wanting to do the dance. 

You know the dance:  

Person A: “ Can I ask you a question?”
Person B: “What’s up?”
Person A: “Where is this going?” 
Person B: “We’re good right now. Anything can happen.”
Person A: “So, you’re interested in a relationship with me in the future?”
Person B: “You’re cool, we’re chillin’ right now. We’ll see what happens.” 

Yup, we’ll see what happens. A whole lotta nothing. 

A man and a woman will show their interest. But if you’re assuming a dance is going to happen or far too pessimistic at this point to concern yourself with emotional attachments, you settle knowing that this bae might not have the potential your friends are rooting for. 

And depending on the timing, that might be enough for you. If the focus is on yourself – growing, learning, trying new things, perhaps being all in to someone isn’t what you need. But, who doesn’t like a little company?

That Remy Ma, Papoose and Khadeen, Devale love is one to fawn over. And one to learn from. What do they have that millennials swiping right and left severely lack? Effective communication and self-awareness. 

How aware are you of your wants and needs? How well can you communicate what you desire beyond blue and green bubble? 

While exercising the growth related to becoming more self-aware, dating with grey sunglasses on ain’t too bad. Your mind is clear. Expectations set. The stress of wanting know “are you the one” is completely dissipated. 

How will dating with grey in mind throw another monkey wrench into the millennial dating scene? Sound off in the comments.  

Alley Olivier